Heavy Is The Head That Wears The Crown: To The “Strong” Black Women
TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING: This story discusses suicide and suicidal ideation. For mental health resources, check out Black Emotional and Mental Health (BEAM) Collective: Mobile Crisis Unit Services in the U.S.
““When there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm.””
Written by Victoria Makanjuola
The epitome of beauty and brains: Miss USA 2019 Cheslie Kryst was only 30 years old when she died by suicide on January 30, 2022. I woke up at 6:45 am the next day to tune in to CBS Mornings. I saw anchors Gayle King and Nate Burleson speaking about their friend Cheslie and heard the grief in their voices. Nate said something profound – “check on your strong friends.” I couldn’t agree with him more.
However, even a crown isn’t enough to make someone happy.
What can you do when they respond “I’m good!! I swear – everything is alright. I’m fine, please don’t worry about me, friend.” What then? What more could have been done for Cheslie?
2022 was supposed to be our year. By “our,” I mean yours, mine, and everyone identifying as Black and Woman. After hearing this news, I was completely and utterly broken–for her family and friends and Black girl magic everywhere. I was also confused and upset because like the cliche says – you never really know what someone is going through.
There were apparently no obvious signs that the former Miss USA was depressed or struggling with her mental health. What hurts the most about Cheslie’s death is that no one could see it coming, not even her own mother, from what I’ve heard from her public statement on social media.
Sadly, she was not the first person to struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts and definitely is not the last. Similarly, Meghan Markle dealt with suicidal ideation and feelings of anxiousness triggered by being a highly publicized member of the British royal family. She spoke to Oprah candidly about her emotions – which I respect her for doing to this day, because it showed me that vulnerability can equal strength.
I can only imagine how Cheslie’s next-door neighbors are feeling right now. How often did they speak or cross paths with her? Did they sense something off about her behavior?
For friends or family members of those struggling with depression, we can offer support and let them know that they can rely on us if they need help. I’m writing this to let whoever is reading right now know that talking about our issues can be super uncomfortable, but you can do it with the right support system.
I find comfort in speaking candidly with a parent or parental figure in my life, who I know and trust has my back. Who do you have? If you don’t have anyone – I’m here. Truly. I may not know you, but as a fellow human, I can offer my love and understanding if you’re going through something. You’re not alone because we’re all connected!
Cheslie – I didn’t know you but I am so sorry this happened to you. I’m sorry that the world didn’t live up to your expectations and failed you. I’m sorry that you didn’t get the help you deserved and that dark forces overwhelmed the best parts of you. Beautiful Black Queen – Rest in Peace.
Victoria Makanjuola (she/her) is a 24-year-old writer, blogger, and digital content creator. She enjoys writing about her personal dreams, hopes and experiences as a Gen. Zer. She currently lives in Texas, and she enjoys watching Netflix documentaries!
This piece was originally published on astoldbyvictoria.com on February 2, 2022